When life gives you lemons
by carolinagirl2956
Summary: My take on the end of Season One. What if The Hump wasn't bombed? What if Amanda wasn't killed? What if we got to see her relationship with Jeremy play out?
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: Hello friends! Welcome to my little story, which I hope you enjoy. I am a huge Army Wives fan, but how Season One ended always left a thorn in my side. So luckily, I get to re-write history so to say :) Here's how I would have had the end of Season One/Season Two go. Amanda doesn't die, the Hump Bar doesn't explode, and Marilyn goes off to live her own life. Happy reading all!**

I sat on the toilet with my head in my heads. Mentally, I kicked myself continually. God, how could we be so stupid.

_"Amanda...Amanda, we can't." Jeremy heavily breathed, his heated body on top of mine. _  
_"What? I thought..do you not.." I managed to breathe out. _  
_"No, no I want to! Believe me, God, yes, I want to" He whispered as he began to kiss my neck again. _  
_"I want to too." I reminded him. His blue eyes looked deep into mine. _  
_"I don't have anything." He finally admitted causing me to sigh. I managed to sit up on my elbows, causing Jeremy to move over slightly. _

_I couldn't stop this, we had gone too far already. My hormones were racing a million miles a second. In this exact moment, I couldn't care less whether he had anything on him. I needed him. And they said boy's hormones were bad? Apparently the roles were reversed tonight. I rolled on top of him, straddling his waist as I removed my shirt and slowly unhooked my bra. _

_"Jeremy, Jeremy I don't care. We can't stop now. Please, please make love to me." I whispered before leaning down to kiss him. There was no turning back now._

"Amanda Joy, open this door right now or so help me!" I heard my mother exclaim, taking me out of my thoughts. I threw the pregnancy test into my bag as quickly as possible before walking over and letting her in.

My mother was pissed, and I knew I was in for it. I also knew that I completely deserved the lecture she was about to give me.

"Who the hell are you, and what have you done with my daughter? Because surely, the young woman standing before me is not my daughter. My daughter does not stay out all night, my daughter does not disrespect her parents, and my daughter sure as hell does not leave without telling anybody the night before her father's promotion ceremony!" She yelled. I took it all in with my head down staring at my shoes.

"Look I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry I'm not the perfect daughter you and dad wanted, I'm sorry for being a bitch, and I'm sorry that you can't help me through a rough period in my life. You have no idea what I'm going through right now!" I screamed. Damnit, here came the tears. This was just great, now I was going to sob like a 4 year old. My mother stopped, her face softening slightly as she came over and tightly embraced me.

"Amanda, sweetheart, please. I want to help you through whatever is going on. But you need to let me. Telling me what's wrong so I can help fix it would be a great start. I know you can't imagine it, but it wasn't that long ago that I was a teenager myself. Please tell me what's wrong, I may surprise you." Her words caused me to cry slightly harder.

"Mom, I really need you right now. Mom I think I'm pregnant." I finally managed to get out. Her face went into a state of shock as she gripped onto my hands for dear life.

"Amanda Joy Holden, if this is some ploy where you tell me something really bad to make what's really going on seem less severe, it's not funny!" She informed me. I immediately shook my head.

"Mom I wouldn't joke about something like this, I'm serious. I'm 2 weeks late, it feels like somebody has pounded my breasts with a meat tenderizer, and I can't stop crying about everything and anything." I explained.

"When did you take the test?" She asked me.  
"I haven't yet; will you take it with me?" I asked her, hoping she would stay with me through this. I handed her the test from my bag.  
"Of course, of course I will." She said, nodding her head.  
"Amanda, does Jeremy know?" She questioned.  
"No, I just broke up with him; I didn't want him to feel responsible for this." I explained. My mother scoffed as she turned around to face me.  
"Of course he's responsible!" She exclaimed.  
"Mom, please!"  
"Amanda! You didn't climb on top of yourself and get pregnant. It took two people to make this happen. If you are in fact pregnant, Jeremy has a right to know, and a responsibility to you and this baby." She explained to me.  
"Okay well, let's find out if I'm even pregnant first."

I watched as she gently opened the package and removed the pieces. I wondered what was going through her head at the moment. Anger? Fear? Guilt? God, I hope she was feeling guilty; nothing she could have done or said would have changed anything. I was head strong and stubborn as hell. When I got an idea in my head, I went with it. Telling me No only made me want it even more, and she knew that. It was why she had convinced my father not to take drastic measures when it came to Jeremy.

_"Please Don't Enlist" I said between kisses. He brought himself closer to me and kissed me with force, not stopping for breath. His hands roamed from my waist to my breasts. I shook my head and moved his hand. _  
_"Hey, we've already gone at it twice, don't try to change the subject!" I bantered playfully. _  
_"I swear, I could do nothing but make love to you all day if I could" He whispered, his voice shaking. _  
_"Please don't leave me." I pleaded. He rested his head on my chest. _  
_"Baby, I want you to be proud of me. I want to make you proud, make my parents proud. I made a mistake that I will never forgive myself for. But this is my chance to make it right and I have to take it." He explained to me. _  
_"Jeremy Matthew Sherwood, I love you." I stated aloud, for the very first time. _  
_"Amanda Joy Holden, I love you too."_

"This cannot be right." Were the first words out of my mother's mouth.  
"It's the 3rd one..." I reminded her.  
"Maybe this package is defective. We'll have to go back to the store."  
"Mom..."  
"Of course we can't go to the PX, we'll have to go off post, I don't know if we'll have enough time before your train leaves." She continued.  
"Mom..." I stated again.  
"Maybe Denise could stop after work? What am I saying, I can't tell Denise about this!" She was on a roll now.  
"MOM!" I yelled, snapping her out of her thoughts. She looked up and finally acknowledged me. The tears quickly began to form.

"Oh Amanda, this was not supposed to happen. You're supposed to be on a train headed to UVA, UVA for God's sake! Why are we in a bathroom staring at 3 positive pregnancy tests?" She finally cried out, causing me to begin to cry.

"Sweetheart I'm sorry. Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I should not have reacted like that." She explained.  
"I had dreams too mom, dreams that didn't involve getting pregnant." I cried. She wrapped me up into her arms and held me as I cried. My head was swarming with thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I saw no good outcome out of this. No option was going to keep every one happy. The only way to right this wrong was to go back in time, but that wasn't possible. I cried. I cried for myself, for Jeremy, for my baby, and for our families. I cried until I fell asleep. Then came the knocking.

"Ladies, what's the hold up? The train isn't gonna wait for you two!" I could hear my dad's cheerful voice on the other side as I slowly came out of my stupor. My head pounded and my eyes ached as my contacts tried to readjust and get some moisture.

"Claudia Joy? Amanda? Is everything okay?" He questioned.

"Just fine, everything's just fine. We just needed to have a talk; we'll be out in a second." My mother answered back. I turned to face her.

"Dad cannot find out about this! He'll kill me! First he'll kill Jeremy, and then come back for me! Mom, please! Please do not say anything!" I begged.


	2. Chapter 2

***Thank you to the few who reviewed/liked/followed this story! I am glad to know the Army Wives section isn't completely dead :) Rewatching the first season is helping my creativity flow, I so miss Amanda and am glad to give her life again through my writing. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, please be sure to review as it helps me to know what's working and what's not. If you know Army Wives fans, please encourage them to check my story out!***

It wasn't long before my head found its way to the toilet. In a matter of minutes, my entire life turned upside down, and my body was not reacting well to it. Mom was by my side in seconds to hold my hair and rub my back.

"It's okay sweetheart, its okay. Just let it happen, don't fight it." She assured me as her hands rubbed circles along my back. I laid my head against the porcelain bowl as waves of nausea passed through me. Once again, I became sick.

"Mom, I cannot face Dad." I whimpered, my head resting back on the seat of the toilet.  
"Honey you can't stay in here forever." She reminded me. "Now look, I have an idea, just go with me on this. Let's get you cleaned up and headed downstairs."

I washed my face and brushed my teeth as thoroughly as possible. I knew I couldn't let on to what was happening, and reminded myself to remain calm and not get sick upon seeing my father.  
"We can do this, we can." My mother assured me. She opened the door and I put on my brave face.

I walked downstairs feeling the most scared I had ever been. Looking over to the wall, I looked at all the pictures of us. Baby pictures of me, of Emmalin. Our family pictures as well. I willed myself not to cry as I scanned over the wall of photos, I couldn't help but feel like I had let my family down. As the older sister, I felt like I had set a horrible example for Emmalin.

"Well Michael, what do you think, have we done good?" I heard my mother exclaim as she walked to my father's side and wrapped her arms around his waist. They both looked up to me with pride and admiration on their faces.

"My baby girl, I remember the very first time I held you in my arms. Amanda, I didn't know it was possible to love a human being this much, until I laid eyes on you. Look at you, all grown up and as beautiful as ever. Your mother and I couldn't be prouder." He beamed.

I wanted to cry, to scream out. I wanted to tell him that he had no right to be proud of me. I wanted him to know that I had let our entire family down, and I was a horrible excuse for a daughter.  
Instead, I trusted in my mother's instincts. I smiled lightly as a tear managed to escape.

"I love you Daddy, more than you could ever know." I whispered as I hugged him as tightly as possible. As we released, he placed his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the face.

"Do good Amanda. Have fun, enjoy the parties, study hard, and always remember what your mother and I taught you..." He explained.  
"Always be kind to everyone you meet, you never know what kind of struggle their going through." I finished. He nodded his head.  
"Be safe girls. Claudia Joy, call when you get in?" He requested.  
"Of course, the second we make it." She assured his as she kissed him on the cheek.

We packed the last bag in the car, shut the door, and put on our seatbelts.

"Mom, where are we going?" I asked, confused about what was happening.  
"Not UVA, that's for sure." She replied as she started the engine and we pulled out of the driveway.

I awoke the next morning early. I hadn't slept well all night, and by 5:45, I was wide awake. As quietly as I could, I opened the sliding door that lead to the balcony, and listened to the waves crashing against the sand. The smells, the sounds, the feeling, I had forgotten how much I had missed the beach. Breathing in deeply, I began to focus more clearly. There were only 2 things I knew for sure. 1.) I was pregnant. 2.) I was no longer going to UVA. At least not in the immediate future.  
I sighed deeply as I realized what I was missing out on. It felt like I was throwing my future away. And for what? A boy? A baby? Did Jeremy even want to be with me? I had already broken up with him. I looked over as I heard the sliding doors open again.

"Good Morning." My mother announced as she joined me on the balcony with juice for both of us.  
"Morning..." I replied. She smiled at me before looking out towards the ocean. She took a deep breath in.  
"It's been so long since we've been to Myrtle Beach." She reminded me.  
"I'm glad this is where we chose to come to." She added.  
"Yeah...me too." I agreed.

"Ya know, having you pregnant, it reminds me of my pregnancy with you. I'll never forget the day you came into this world Amanda." A huge smile spread across her face as the memory played back through her mind. She laughed lightly.

"What...?" I questioned. She looked over at me.

"It was June 19th, 1990. We were stationed at Fort Bliss in Texas. Your father however, was over in Kosovo at the time. I was 28 years old, 9 months pregnant, and missing him more than ever before. I had been having contractions on and off the day before and through the night. That morning, I woke up, and just knew it was the day I was going to meet you. Back in the 90's, I couldn't skype your father, we barely even talked on the phone. Mostly in was letters. But that morning, as I got dressed and got ready to head to the hospital, he called. He by chance had the opportunity to call, and the first thing I told him was "Michael, were having a baby." I heard something knock over, and he dropped the phone. When he got back on the line, he asked me if I was sure, and I told him I was. He then put the phone down to announce to everyone that he was about to be a father. I knew it was one of the proudest moments of his life.  
Ironically, given the situation now, Denise and Frank were at Ft. Bliss with us. This is actually the 3rd time we've all been stationed together. We met at Ft. Bliss, and we were there from 1988-1991. We met again at Fort Campbell in Kentucky and were there from 1997-2001. And now, here we all are at Fort Marshall. Anyway, I called Denise up, and told her she needed to come get me, I was having this baby. Jeremy was 3 months old at that time. She got him settled in, and went with me. She stayed with me the entire time. After 14 hours of hard labor, you came into this world at 9:14pm. You weighed 6 lbs 2 oz, and were 19 inches long. It was single handedly the most exhilarating moment of my life.

I had tears in my eyes by the end of the story. Hearing my mother explain the story of my birth, with such passion and happiness, was amazing. It was in this moment, that I was truly able to grasp her love for me.

"Did it hurt?" I asked, already knowing what the answer to that was. She paused and looked at me for a second, trying to decide how she should answer. She took my hands in hers, and she smiled, with tears in her eyes.

"Like hell. But when they placed you in my arms, it wiped all that pain away. You were worth every contraction. Sweetheart, you will never understand what love truly is until you hold your baby. I have loved you every second of every day. When you were 2 and had a stomach virus for three days straight, I loved you. When you were 4 and painted all over the walls in your room, I loved you. When you were 6 and told Emmalin you knew how to cut hair so she let you cut hers, I loved you. When you were 10 and told me you hated me for the first time because I wouldn't let you have a sleepover, I loved you. When you were 16 and came home with a pierced belly button, I loved you. And when you told me you were pregnant, still, I loved you. Nothing you could ever do would ever make me hate you, or be ashamed of you. I carried you within me for 9 entire months, and nothing could ever break that bond. You will always be my baby.

By this point, we were both crying. We sat there, holding each other, comforting each other, as the sun rose, and the waves crashed about. I knew in that moment, that my life had taken a new direction. I felt closer to my mother in this moment than ever before.

On our third morning at the beach, we walked along, hand in hand, marveling at the beauty of the ocean.  
"Do we have to go back?" I whispered, not wanting to hear the answer. We had had such an incredible 3 days just spending time with each other, getting to really know each other. We were in our own little world out here, and facing reality was not something I was ready for.  
"My Amanda Panda, these past three days have given me memories that I will cherish forever and ever. Unfortunately sweetie, we do need to face reality. And that means making a decision about this baby, getting in touch with Jeremy, and facing your father." She reminded me.

"Mom, I want to keep it. I know it sounds crazy. I know I'm only 18, and I have no idea what I'm doing, but that's not the baby's fault. What's done is done; all I can do is try to be the best I can be." I explained, not looking at her, but at the ocean, wishing I could make sense of my life at the moment. My mom looked over towards me.  
"I'm proud of you Amanda, I hope you know that." She reminded me. I sighed.  
"I do know that, I just wish I knew that Dad was too..." I explained. Now it was my mom's turn to sigh.  
"Your father is going to be angry. I won't lie about that. He'll come around Amanda, but it's going to take some time." She reassured me.  
"Yeah, I know. Hey mom, I think I'm gonna go closer towards to the water and look for shells, do you mind if I have a moment alone?" I asked, hoping she didn't feel that I was pushing her away.  
"Of course, take your time sweetie, I'll be right here." She smiled.

*Claudia Joy POV*

I sat down in the sand as I watched Amanda, head down, looking for shells to bring back with us. My heart ached for her and the pain she was going through. I was trying my best to be there for her, to be supportive of her, but I couldn't help feeling that I was falling short. I just wanted to save her. To carry this pain myself. From life at a prestigious college to mommyhood in the blink of an eye, it just didn't seem fair. Oh how I wished I had the girls here with me to help me in this journey. I glanced down at my phone to see Michael's number calling. My eyes returned to Amanda, sweetly and innocently picking up shells as I took the call.

"Hello Michael." I calmly answered.  
"Claudia Joy Holden, are you planning on moving into UVA yourself?" He joked. I couldn't bring myself to laugh.  
"Michael, I don't know how to tell you this." I began.  
"...Tell me what Claudia Joy?" He questioned. I sighed heavily.  
"Michael, Amanda and I aren't at UVA..."


End file.
